How We Look At Ourselves

INTERVIEW:  PERSONAL TRAINING COACH

I recently sat down with my newly acquired personal fitness coach, Annette Cavalier, to ask her some heart felt questions about how she works with women and their bodies. I wanted some insights into how her profession has enlightened her about women in their quest to fit their ideal image of who they want to be and how they want to look.  As we women know, this is a complex subject that has layers of emotion, self-esteem issues and learned messages from society, the media, and men. Body image matters to us and we often struggle with how to unite our hearts, heads and bodies to make us a whole person who likes who we are inside and out.

BodiBuddie: How would you describe your purpose?

A: When a woman comes to me she is asking for help. My approach is one based on how I can assist a woman to heal, to live more consciously, to provide honest answers that will build holistic strength for body, mind and spirit.  The work creates a personal connection between us that changes lives for the better. Also women who are making an investment in themselves monetarily, physically benefit.

BodiBuddie: Why did you decide to be a fitness coach and body therapist?

A: I was in a 10 year relationship that was not healthy for me.  I hated my job and I was over weight. I had to make some changes. I started working out and as I lost the weight, I started getting compliments and finally had the courage to leave the relationship and the job.  I discovered who I was as a powerful woman through training, toning and reducing.   Because of my own experience and how working out had changed my life I became a trainer. I wanted other women to experience that transition from despair, set a goal, and then follow it through to attain their desired life. I try to teach by example.

BodiBuddie:  In terms of body image, let’s talk about two issues that seem to be the most emotionally charged for women, weight and aging.  How do you address losing weight with your women clients?

A: Most of my women clients come to me to lose weight. I have a philosophy that the extra fat on the body is the symptom of an underlying cause.  When I approach weight loss I know that the weight will not come off or not stay off if the reason it’s there in first place is not included in sessions with clients.

Many women view their body as the enemy that they dislike or even hate because it doesn’t fit the mold of how we have been programmed to think it should look in order to be attractive to others.  The body hears you and it responds.  Not liking the body results in a life long discontent that almost always leads back to the same shape you try to avoid. Positive attitude matters. It needs to be cultivated and included in any fitness program, especially for long term results. When you start doing healthy things for yourself you want to do more healthy things for yourself.

BodiBuddie: So how do you cultivate a positive attitude to get better results?

A: I think that it is important to have some insight break-throughs in realizing why you want to lose weight.  A very positive attitude to have is wanting to lose weight for you, not because you crave praise from others or to manipulate getting attention so you won’t be rejected, especially by men.  In our society women are continuously reminded that if you look a certain way you get what you want. And so they struggle to try and get ‘that look’ but this is not a natural motivation and is not sustainable.  When you do it for someone else, it becomes a bitter sweet fight.

The attitude I promote is one that suggests to my client that she match up the picture of what she has in her heart and head with her body.  The mantra is ‘I’m tailoring my suit to be who I want to be in the world.’  We move away from the negative attitude of being thinner means I’m more lovable towards loving herself for who she is.

BodiBuddie: How do you think fitness influences women in their daily lives?

A: When women start feeling those endorphins from working out they start to change. Instead of addictions to bad food, sugar, smoking, etc. they start to make choices that promote their new found natural energy.   The fat padding that was insulating and protecting her from damaged emotions and unhealthy habits starts to drop away and you can see her start to express confidence. Even losing a couple of pounds starts to revitalize her. She may start off wanting to lose weight to get outside attention and find out that through the process she has discovered a spiritual connection to herself and the world. She starts to carry herself straighter. She starts to feel limitless.  I see her overcoming the fear that she is not enough.  From this uplifted space she finds her spirit.  That’s why it’s called self-esteem.  She has to see her value, believe in her value and get to that place.

BodiBuddie: What kind of attitudes do you run into with the aging woman and her changing body?

A: I work with many women who, for most of their lives, got attention for their physical attributes and they identify their physical with who they are.  They continue trying to keep themselves in their mid-30’s as the state that they best identify with in terms of being attractive. Some women are terrified and feel like, ‘Oh my god what’s happening to me?’  Their being attractive is so tied into how they relate in the world. They have always seen themselves in someone else’s eyes. Then as they age, they stop getting that attention. They look in the mirror and see that older woman’s face and body looking back at them and they are scared and feel out of control. They start comparing themselves with younger women, the perky breasts, slim legs and now it starts affecting their self esteem.  Again I see a woman that perceives her attractiveness as being how she is loved and accepted by others.  Of course there are varying degrees of this association, but it is very prevalent.

BodiBuddie: What are some treatment strategies you use to help the aging woman to feel better about herself?

A: We have discussed that whenever you do something for yourself, the simple act in itself nurtures you and your body responds and feels this. It hears you.  I really love to help the aging woman connect more with her higher self through body treatments such as detoxifying lymphatic massage, Synergie, and corrective body products.   I have a client that has been coming to me once a week for 5 years for lymphatic massage. Her sessions with me support her to relax, relieve stress and boost her immune system.  She has expressed to me that her weekly treatments give her the space to let go of the fear of aging. And after struggling with a dysfunctional, dissatisfying relationship for years, at 60 she has re-invented herself and is in a new, more joyful relationship.

BodiBuddie: I’m an aging woman.  I am now 55 and still very inclined to exercise especially now to help keep me flexible, prevent age-related illnesses and of course, to keep off unwanted pounds. Are you suggesting that body treatments and products be added to exercise regimes for the aging woman and if so why?

1. A. I do recommend body treatments and products for the aging woman because one thing that slows down with age is circulation and cellular rejuvenation that includes layers of the skin.  The body ages just like the face. Loss of elasticity causes sagging in body parts that are helped with treatments like Synergie and CelluliteRx that manually increase circulation from the outside in. Of course exercise is critical for over-all health and the body needs exercise to function optimally.  The aging woman needs a little extra help to jump start cellular metabolism in the skin to improve elasticity and fortunately today’s technology can do that.

BodiBuddie: Thanks Annette for your insights, dedication to women’s health and continued inspiration that is helping change women’s lives….for the better.

Do you live and/or work in Santa Cruz County?
Contact Annette: Personal Training, Synergie Body Contouring, Micro Current Facials
(831) 332-0309 www.annettecavalier1@hotmail.com